Alien’s Grin

Each year the English Department of San José State University in San Jose, California run the Bulwer–Lytton Fiction Contest. Entrants are invited “to compose the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels”.

This years excruciatingly winner was written by Molly Ringle:

For the first month of Ricardo and Felicity’s affair, they greeted one another at every stolen rendezvous with a kiss–a lengthy, ravenous kiss, Ricardo lapping and sucking at Felicity’s mouth as if she were a giant cage-mounted water bottle and he were the world’s thirstiest gerbil.